I seem to get nightmares somewhat often, usually once every month or two. Sometimes it's about having to be in a really nasty bathroom and ending up having to touch things @_@, but my nightmares usually involve school and not being at all prepared for a big test, or not being finished with my presentation or report only minutes before the deadline. Sometimes it's something as simple as being late for class and not being able to find my way through campus. It's kinda weird to still have dreams involving school, even though I haven't attended school in ages.

On rare occasions, I have bad dreams about speaking Chinese (or I guess not being able to). I'm fluent in conversational mandarin, but I don't have any friends or know anyone I can speak Chinese with where we live. I have pride in the ability, but then it brings along the shame of the idea of not being as good as I want to be. ._. I'm afraid of getting rusty, and I admit that though I can speak general conversational Chinese, I lack experience so my vocabulary has some holes. The dreams usually involve me being with a group of people speaking Chinese and me not knowing enough words to understand most of it, followed by them finding out and me being ostracized and feeling ashamed. ^^ I have a lot of "imposter syndrome" problems. XD

It sucks to still be haunted by the same kind of nightmares for so long and to feel that they'll never go away, but I know that they're just things that I gotta learn to accept about myself and remember what really matters in the end and why. I need to learn to accept that it's okay to fail at times and to be a fool, that we aren't as good as we hope or want to be. If I have my insecurities, I need to put the time and effort into it, and be humble to overcome my demons. It's definitely much easier to say than to do, but at least knowing is a start. I have no idea what I'd need to do about the "dirty bathroom" dreams though. @_@

-on a side note, a really cool someone surprisingly sent Bear and me a copy of Gravity Rush Remastered for the PS4! \(' u ')/ I honestly kinda forgot about Gravity Rush; I hadn't passed Gravity Rush 2 and stopped playing a while back, but was really enjoying it a lot when I was playing it. It made me want to check out the first game one day, but I conceded to that fact that it might never be possible since, at the time, the game had a limited run and was out of print, but lo and behold! =D It was such a pleasant surprise, much like an unexpected Christmas. ^_^ I went back to playing Gravity Rush 2 that night and was having a blast! I mean, I was pre-tty bad at it after my break and didn't remember all the mechanics clearly, but it was still great! XD I even popped in GR1R a bit later to get a glimpse of how it all started. I've been playing a little bit lately and am so looking forward to more. ^_^

Thank you so much for the wonderful gift, person named "Martin"!