"A video game comic and blog that would have been awesome and relevant 10 years ago. Maybe." -Famous Website
Hey all, I know it's been a really long time since we updated you all on what's happening in our lives and I felt I owe it to you all since our update schedule has been all over the place and we've been skipping comic weeks a lot these last few months.
Prior to April, by and large any missed comic was due to us not having material we felt was strong enough. We've always believed in making sure we were happy and proud of our work first and foremost and didn't want to be put in a position where we were putting out comics just to meet a deadline or to ensure a stable income through our Patreon. This, however, has not been the reason behind our intermittent posting in the last 4 months.
Obviously, we've been sucked into Final Fantasy XIV, with one of the big allures being that we've been more socially active. With it, I've been quite happy because we've been more connected, met some amazing people that we adore, and even had a few amazingly positive life events happen. However, it's also challenged me to be hopelessly introspective, struggling with an existential crises coupled with an identity crises that has been making me deal with a tremendous amount of anxiety and depression.
When I've dealt with depression or anxiety before, it's never really been so crippling that it would prevent me from working on the comic; in fact, usually the comic tends to be therapeutic in so many ways. Sadly though, I've felt so lost lately that I've been compulsively retreating into FFXIV to help me cope, but this has been met with a sort of twisted duality in simultaneously helping put me to ease while also creating a sense of agonizing dysphoria.
As it stands now, I've been looking into getting my medical coverage reinstated so I can seek some help; I have a preliminary appointment with a therapist in a month that I hope will help me find my way. Some days are better than others, and I feel silly even saying all of this because right now I feel well enough to write, but sometimes it strikes me and it completely paralyzes my thoughts and actions; making it very difficult to do much of anything outside of obsessively searching for answers.
We reached our 250th comic and had our 5 year anniversary come and go, yet I was too paralyzed to celebrate. A number of positive things have been happening too, and yet I've felt so...seized up pondering meaning and questions of self worth. I feel conflicted having so many positive things happening around me and sinking into depression, constantly wondering what is wrong with me and what I'm searching for; why I can't be happy or just "be happy".
Hopefully, for my sake, for Pie's sake, and all of my loved ones and all our wonderful fans, I can get out of this sooner rather than later. At the very least, I wanted to take the time to give you all an update and to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being supportive, reading the comic, and being patient with our lack of updates lately. Thank you all so much; I'll keep you posted on my condition as I make progress.
Pie and I finally got to the end of ARR storyline in Final Fantasy XIV and, just as the end of the 2.0 story was a great ending, so too has the lead up to the first expansion, Heavensward. Pie and I have been astonished how much the team has packed in after the end of 2.0; essentially giving an expansions worth of content in patches alone.
One of the major things that has been bugging Pie and me was that Minfilia, for being such a prominent main character, has exhibited far too little character grown and development; we simple don't understand why she is important and want to see her fleshed out. Is there something we are missing from the 1.0 story? What is her significance? What was her relation to Louisoux? How did she come to lead the Scions of the Seventh Dawn? At the end of ARR, what is it that she hopes to accomplish by leaving the hero's side, exactly?
Considering her character hasn't been explored in our exposure of the game, we can't help but judge her on what is available. Is bringing people together a special enough trait to warrant that a character have no apparent prowess of their own? Is it somehow okay for a woman to have those qualities when, in men, such traits would likely be met with disdain? At what point is she a nearing a damsel in distress and at what point is she simply a charismatic leader that has no battle prowess with which to protect herself?
Ah well...even if Minfilia as a character has much to be desired, there are still so many compelling elements to how the story is framed and how engaging it is; it feels like an MMO's take on episodic story telling with no real end in sight, constantly raising new questions that do well to spark our intrigue; storytelling which seemed to reach quite a masterful level in the Heavensward expansion. We can't wait to see how the game continues to develop, which I honestly never expected from an MMO!