I went to a Good Friday service at my church not long ago. It was the first service I had been to over there in a several months. I usually go to work on Sundays, and since I work at another church, I usually have to give up attending mine. This service did a lot for me. I wasn't expecting anything from it, but I was glad to be able to go. However, halfway though, as our pastors read scripture and the choir sang, I realized something important. I figured out why I've felt so depressed and angry on and off for a while now. I had been doing something wrong that I had either not recognized or had tried to convince myself wasn't so much of a flaw as it truly was.
I'd been judging people and in some cases, I tried to get people to do what I thought was truly right, even when they didn't agree at all with me. I also left alone a lot of good friends because I wanted to make the effort to try and hang out with and get to know other people before I was done with high school. Both of those were very foolish things to do. I realized that, despite all I had learned as a Christian, I hadn't considered one of the most important things of all. You shouldn't glorify your opinion above all others and declare that everything else is wrong.
In Christianity, it's not about whether being gay, a smoker, an addict, a prostitute, a Muslim, or one of a million other things that people find objectionable today is a sin or not. It's about reflecting God's love to those that you care about and to those who truly need it most. Whether it's by speaking with someone who is going through hard times or building a school for people in a remote village who have almost nothing, a Christian should always try to be there for those who need to be shown that there are people out there who care. Don't hound a friend for getting pregnant or for doing drugs and don't call somebody a sinner for being gay or for believing in a different religion. On the one hand, what your friend has done is already done, don't give them grief for something they either don't see anything wrong with or for something they anguish over every day. On the other, hand, the person was either born a certain way that made them reject the status quo, or they were born into a world that's different from yours, where believing in certain things isn't considered a terrible thing. Either way, you're just making a big deal over something irreversible that you shouldn't be in control of in the first place.
You're not helping anyone by hating on people for their beliefs, preferences, and choices. Sure, doing drugs can ruin your professional life and kill you and getting pregnant early can destroy every chance you have of going to college and getting a degree. However, when somebody has already made that choice, is it really going to change anything by griping at somebody and making them either confused, sad, scared, angry, or a combination of the four? It won't. If you're going to do anything, make a suggestion (unless, of course you're speaking with somebody who is gay or of another religion; if you suggest that a gay person go to one of those gay rehab programs or that a Muslim convert to Christianity, you're just making yourself look like an ass). Suggest that your pregnant friend should think about getting an abortion (If you're ok with that sort of thing) or suggest to somebody with an addiction that they should go see a counselor or start attending rehab. Let them know you're only saying so because you care and wish the best for them. If they don't want what you've offered them, then don't pursue it further (though if it's family, I think that's really up to you). Also, somebody you care about shouldn't be "dead" to you just because they don't want to follow through with what you think is best. I bring this up because I'm tired of hearing stories about parents (Dad's in particular) who say this to sons or daughters when they come out of the closet. It's disgusting. A parent should never feel that way about what they brought into this world and you shouldn't shun people for making bad choices or being different. If you really care about them, you ride with them all the way through life, let them make their own choices and be there for them, no matter what happens. Even if you are trying to convince someone you don't know that you are right, just give up and respect their differences. You're probably not going to change their opinion anyway if they're willing to argue and resist acknowledging that what you say is correct.
I'm glad I've figured this out so soon in life and now I'm wondering why this is so hard for other Christians (even 70-something year old men with gray beards) to understand. It's so simple and yet, we, as a society, don't feel like being this way because we're too stubborn to acknowledge that we're either being really overbearing or really hateful. Just do the real "Christian" thing by being there for people who need it, no matter who they are. I'm done now and I thank you for reading this. I was also wondering if I should post this to Facebook to see what sort of reaction I get. Thoughts?
*Edit: Added another note in parentheses in order to make one of my points clearer. If I post this on FB or Tumblr, I want there to be a minimum of questions that people could speculate over.
