Transgender is an adjective.

[Adol The Red]

I'm awed by this community, and glad I chose to join this site. I've never understood the hatred and biases that run rampant in our society. The best I can figure is that people are lazy, and its easier to just hate the things you don't understand, and what makes you uncomfortable, than it is to try and understand them.

As a child I was just as bad. I didn't know any better. Even now I look back at people I ridiculed and wonder why I would ever do that. I'm empathetic by nature, and other people's pain is something I find hurtful as well. It's why I can't read the paper; too many horrible stories. As an adult, I choose to try and understand and know people, whatever their situation. What is the point of hate and ridicule? What does it get you? To me, people are people. Everything else is detail.

I can't imagine what it's like to have to deal with the pain people throw at you. It's easy to say "Stay strong," but sometimes putting that into action can be quite a bit more difficult. Still, there are people here who will support you the best they can, because everyone, so long as they're not going out of their way to do harm to others, has the right to be who they are. At least, that's how I see it.

I have a group of three friends that I have known pretty much since high school. They are my core, the people I trust most in this world. They have been there for me even when I wasn't there for them. So when one of them finally told us he was gay, there was really no change for me. There may have been a moment of shock, it was so long ago that I really don't remember. Either way, he is the same friend I've always known, and I trust him just as much. I can only hope that you and everyone else here finds a group like this.

And Pie, I still see you as a girl. It's how you act, and how you want to be seen. Maybe not knowing you in person makes that easier, but for me, nothing has changed. I'm moved by the bravery both of you have shown, and your willingness to share so much with all of us.

[Tehwilburforce]

I'd just like to share something with you guys. Before I do, though, let me just say that I love this community and our wonderful accepting nature. The internet is a scary place, but this site makes it worth logging in often. To have a place to share very intimate details of our lives without being judged is truly a feat for a medium where people spew hate in comment boxes and in videos everyday. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Anyway, now to my story. If I haven't told you before, I work at a very large, very affluent church not far from where I live. One of the members of the congregation is this girl who I think might be trans. What she looks like obviously doesn't matter, but I will tell you this. She has a very masculine appearance and she dresses Gothic with a female gender identity. I do not know her name, I do not know how old she is, and I don't know what she does for a living. The reason I bring her up, though, is because the people I work with (especially those who are members of this church), often speak of her like a creature. Frankenstein's monster, if you will. In an atmosphere that is meant to be dedicated to God and his love for everybody, I find this highly despicable. I sometimes catch my co-workers observing her from across the room, commenting on how "scary", "gross", or "ugly" she is. I can tell she is tormented by what others think because I sometimes see her crying openly. It's terrible. I don't want to reprimand my co-workers because some of them are pricks and I'd never hear the end of it if I did. However, I'd like to try and speak with her and make her feel accepted in some way or another. I think it takes an awful lot of confidence to be so afraid of others' judgments of you and still attend church in order to learn about God. I really commend her for this and while it might be a bit straighforward to mention this, I'd still like to find a friendly way to say hello without making her feel self-conscious. Any ideas?

[chrisb]

Good for you! I'm a Catholic myself, but I'm also very liberal. I find it disgusting when people who are supposed to represent charity and love turn out to be the ugliest of people. I could rant forever about that, but I'll just stop and say thank you for taking the time to consider this girl's feelings.

[chrisb]

As for ideas, I say just go up to her and say hello. Ask how she's doing today or ask her if she's been doing all right. If you are genuine she will open up.

I would also ask you to tell your coworkers that you see this young lady cry sometimes because of how she is perceived. Tell them that she is there to learn about God and she can't build a good relationship with her spiritual self if she is fears the community that she is reaching out to.

[Farore]

I agree with Crispy. You've already shown us that you genuinely care about her, so now all you have to do is let her know.

[Bear]

Hmm, I'm not sure I have any advice other than reaching out to her and trying to help her feel comfortable. You may end up having to make the tough decision of doing what you think is right or being somewhat complicit by remaining silent.

Be prepared for backlash from the pricks if you reach out though; people can be downright vile about these things. I can imagine them starting to throw you into the name calling or even implying that you are attracted to her because of your wish to help her. Shrug off their comments or if you are quick witted, try and think of clever ways to toss it back at them.

It's a tough situation though. Just like your other friend Wilbur, sometimes doing what you think is right can lead you down some uncomfortable outcomes (hence why it's good to think carefully about how you act). Having that shred of support from a stranger can be incredibly uplifting for someone who already has enough troubles dealing with life.

is extremely heartwarming and I think serves as a good example how to show support while still being cool and collected about it, which is a great example of support shown right in your home state.

The guy at 3:05 is a good example of how I think you may be Wilbur. If you see something going wrong, such as your other friend getting involved in drugs, you want to stand up for whats right. As the guy says, "I think silence is one of the failures of people today. That when they see an injustice or an intolerance, they stay silent". I just get the sense that you are feeling your way through the right and wrong ways to show support and I'm happy you feel comfortable chatting about it here. Being brave enough to stand up for what is right is tough enough and showing support in the right ways can be incredibly difficult. Good luck man!

[Tehwilburforce]

Thank you Bear. As a matter of fact, the town this was filmed in, Farmer's Branch, is not far from me. I'm surprised they were able to get a good response out of people since that area is kind of full of white trash... I haven't really liked growing up in this state because of the high degree of conservatism. (Ironically, the capital, Austin, is probably the most liberal town in the state.) It makes me afraid to speak to people sometimes whenever certain topics are brought up. You're right, though. That guy at 3:05 is very similar to me. I believe in not judging people for what you see before you get to know them. People who use their belief in God to hate on certain groups, like the gay community, forget so much about what the Bible says about loving others and forgiveness just because they want to promote old beliefs that were meant to promote fear in followers. People like that embarrass me as a Christian and make me want to scream, "NO!!! You're not understanding any of what's in that book! Just go home!" I'm glad I grew up in a church that is theologically progressive in a state like this, then. In my opinion, politics and religion should stay separate. Period.

Also, I do realize what I did in threatening my friend. Even though it might not seem that way to me, the store she works at is incredibly important to her. I didn't respect that and I almost lost a friend. What I've learned is to be more careful when dealing with things that are important to somebody, even if it isn't the best for them.

"Religion should comfort people. Not scare them to death." -Inherit the Wind

[chrisb]

^Austinite here (represent!) Austin is like a slice of California in Texas... minus all the crappy celebrities and bankruptcy.